Love is Real

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How many times
I’ve tried to find you
using the only
language I know
in hopes bringing
you closer,
 
But my eyes
were travelling
faster and farther
than I could
keep up with;
you knew.
 
I couldn’t find
rest at all.
I didn’t trust
that in stillness,
you would
find your way
 
(to me. That
this is what you
wanted, too)
 
I couldn’t close
my eyes, which
gave me, at least,
enough of the
world to pacify
my fearful heart.
 
But this is
no longer enough.
You are here,
yet not here; my
blindness compounds
the closer you are.
 
My belly knows;
it pulsates,
Feverish.
My heart knows
it has been in
darkness too long.
 
What terrorizes me,
beyond the seen,
will take me to
everything. I know
this now. You
always did.
 
Will you wait
as I close my eyes,
and still my fledgling heart,
and trust that
the whole world
remains, and bigger
 
(and that you will
still be here, and
that love is real)?
– TS
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